Bullying

There is a big difference between teasing and bullying. Teasing someone does not do much harm. The other person will take has chance to tease in return. Teasing can even be a joke or funny as long as the two parties are equally strong. Nobody should be upset by a little teasing.
Bullying is different. Bullying isn’t fun anymore. Now there is always one child stronger than the other. Or has a bigger mouth and the most influence in the group. The other is the one who always loses.

Bullying does not happen just once. Bullied children fall victim of the bully again and again. Day after day. That is not funny at all. It is cruel.

A child that is being bullied mostly feels extremely unhappy. It does not want to do anything or to go anywhere. The child becomes afraid and starts feeling completely alone. This is not for a short period of time but it can take control of its whole life.
Not only the bullied child has a big problem. The bully him/herself has a problem as well, even if he or she does not know it. Children who bully other children often feel very unsure of themselves. They may seem self-assured but really they are very afraid of not being accepted by the group. They start behaving rude and choose a victim they can handle.
With this behaviour they force the group to accept them. Often they are angry or sad for reasons of their own. For instance their parents are divorced or they do not get enough attention at home. Bullying children have pleasure in seeing other children unhappy.

Bullying does not stop of itself. Only with the help of others can bullying be brought to an end. A first step can be to talk about it with parents, teachers or friends. This can be a relief in itself. Yet most children find it difficult to tell others that they are being bullied. Therefore it is important that parents and teachers are observant in this respect. There are many signs to show that a child is possibly being bullied. You may for instance notice that your child does not like school anymore. Or that he/she does not sleep well and has nightmares, or that he/she does not bring friends home from school.

If you find out that your child is being bullied, do take it seriously. Talk about it and do not just tell them to ignore it. Make sure something is done, that the bullying is put to an end. Or call, without telling your child, the parents of the bully (do this with great care and only if you see no other options).

And if you see yourself or hear from others that your own child bullies others, you also must do something. Do not hide from the facts, but take it seriously. Try to find out why your child has become a bully. Maybe there is too little attention at home or there is an other unpleasant cause? Try to make clear to the child what it is doing to the other by bullying.

Hangers-on and lookers-on have their own problems. Bullying can seriously disturb the atmosphere in a class or group. And these children, too, are reluctant to talk about what is happening. Parents and teachers should pay attention at this group, too.

Bullying is a difficult and complicated problem that always must be taken seriously. For children who cannot solve their own problems there is a lot of information available about bullying. Look for books on bullying in the library or on the internet. There is also the children’s telephone (0800-0432 daily from 2 till 8 p.m.).
This is a help-line which children can call.